“Your life, my life, is given graciously by God. Our lives are not problems to be solved but journeys to be taken”
― Henri J. M. Nouwen, Spiritual Direction
Read on for answers to common questions about spiritual direction!
What does a session look like?
A session usually lasts for an hour. It looks like a conversation between the director and directee. I usually start with lighting a candle and acknowledging the presence of the Holy Spirit, and then we begin. The conversation will be spacious and the role of the director is to attentively listen, asking questions to explore further. They also provide prompts for pauses and silence to reflect, and be with whatever is coming up for the directee. The director makes space to discern together the invitations that seem to be arising.
How often do we meet?
The normal rhythm is once a month. However, there may be times when you are going through a big life change, or season where you would like to meet a little more or less often, and that’s totally ok!
Is there anything I need to prepare ahead of time?
To spiritual direction we simply bring ourselves as we are in this moment. Therefore, you can bring a current situation weighing on your mind, a curiosity or a question. You can bring your longings and what you’re grieving or celebrating. You might even bring anger that is coming up in your life towards God or others. Sometimes you don’t have anything to bring, and that’s ok too! Together, we can explore those emotions and situations and discern God’s presence and the movement of the Holy Spirit in your life. Even things that seem mundane can hold sacred treasures if we take some time to explore and to listen.
How is this different than therapy or spiritual counseling?
Although spiritual direction is a one-on-one helping relationship, and spiritual direction and therapy can seem very alike, they are quite different. In therapy the agenda is set by the client and is more “problem” focused. Usually there is a specific life situation, trauma, the healing of wounds, etc. that need psychological assistance. It is usually bound by a time frame and once the “problem” is solved, there is no need for further therapy.
Spiritual direction on the other hand is focused on life, prayer, and the spiritual journey. It’s something you can engage in indefinitely as a space where you can experience grace and a felt sense of Holy presence.
That being said, both modalities can work very well in tandem with each other. If you’d like to see another perspective of the differences between Spiritual Direction and other helping services, please check out b-ing.
What are some of the benefits of Spiritual Direction?
Engaging consistently in spiritual direction can help you experience God in a new way through receiving the gift of authentic presence. Some other possible benefits include:
- Increased awareness of God
- Increased self-awareness
- Spiritual growth
- Greater freedom and enjoyment in your relationship with God
- Clarity around asking better questions
- Assistance in seasons of discernment.
- Feeling empowered to walk into your vocation
- And much more!
How much does it cost?
In North America, the usual going rate for a session with a trained spiritual director is between $50-$120. There are some directors that will offer it for free who are part of a religious order, if that’s what you’d like, sometimes it’s possible to find them by contacting a local retreat center or order.
In my practice, my fee is $75 USD*
*I do give discounts to full-time missionaries. As a former career missionary I know how necessary and fruitful it can be to find a companion with whom to explore your spiritual life. I also intimately know the financial challenges that many times accompany a life of fundraising. Please email me at directionwithnicole@gmail.com if you’d like to know more about my missionary discount.
What if I’m not sure, could I try it out?
Yes! For anyone interested in learning more, I offer a free 20-30 minute consultation to answer any questions you might have, I share more about my approach to spiritual direction and what you can expect. If you’re interested in trying it out, you can schedule your first session without any expectations to commit to something ongoing.
What if I try it a few times and I don’t want to continue?
That’s totally fine! Many people love the dynamics and unique nature of the spiritual direction relationship, but it might not be a good fit for you. The important thing is that you feel safe and comfortable. You may want to try it out with a different director to see if it might be a better fit for this season of your life, or you may just want to set this practice aside for a time. Regardless, I believe in positive endings and feel free to let me know if it isn’t working for you and we can proceed accordingly!
If you are interested in exploring other options for directors here are a couple links:
Centerquest Referral Network (An ecumenical program where I was trained as a spiritual director)
Spiritual Directors International Find a Director (There are lots of criteria for you to search for based on religion, tradition, orientation, gender, etc.)
Transforming Center’s Network (Ruth Haley Barton’s referral network. Her writings and ministry have deeply impacted my own life.)